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TECHNIQUES OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT AND RESOLUTION IN MARRIAGE
Introduction:
God invented marriage, so His word reveals how best to conduct ourselves in it as well as how to resolve the attendant marital challenges. His word backed with faith and practice also guarantees marital bliss for couples who express full commitment to their married life.
Every family experiences conflict from time to time and indeed, conflict is an intricate part of what spice up a marriage. Many couples lack the skill or ability to identify and discuss areas that pose serious challenge to their relationship, agree on how best to resolve them and then put the agreement into action.
With the appropriate skills and knowledge couples are able to overcome conflicts that arise in their marriages. In which case, they emerge stronger and are more bound together as couples. However when conflicts are not properly managed it can result in quarrels, resentment, hatred, withdrawal and all forms of abuse. If the situation deteriorates further it could end in divorce, which is partly responsible for the high rate of promiscuity in most societies.
Let me mention here that, no matter how a couple may have bickered and quarrelled so long that they do not loose hope things would definitely improve.
When serious disagreements build up in marriage and are not resolved, it is an indication that one or both partners have chosen not to express love.
True love actually involves showing concern for the well being of your partner. Many people are not aware that to express love does not require an overwhelming romantic "feeling”. Yet, some others think that love just happens and cannot be controlled - so they "fall in love" and “out of love”. For such, the necessary precautions are not taken to avoid hurting the feelings of their partner.
This article is written to help couples learn the necessary steps to take in order to better manage and resolve Family conflicts.
What are the stakes for men?
As a man do you praise your wife regularly, especially after preparing a sumptuous meal or caring for your children? Or are you the type that finds it easier to criticise her when she fails?
Ordinarily, most women have greater sense of security and accomplishment if their spouse tells them they are loved and well needed.
If however, you are a woman whose husband does not appreciate your efforts, you should be fulfilled in seeing your children develop and in knowing above all that God is pleased with your commitment.
What are the stakes for women?
Wives should also appreciate their Husbands’ effort in the family... This would teach the men to honour their wives and thus encourage a mutual response from their women. Men often get the sense of accomplishment from their work.
Ladies, if your husband works tirelessly to provide for you and the family, how often do you express appreciation to this end? Or do you just wait for his pay check so as to expend it without any word of appreciation? When he goes the extra mile of handling the difficult jobs around the house how do you respond? Do you remain numb and believe that is part of his responsibility as a man in the house after all?
Resolving conflicts
Is your marriage in conflict? Believe it, you are not alone. Every marriage has different levels of fights going on in it. The major difference however is the ability to know what you are fighting for, why you are fighting and how to fight fair.
As long as you or your partner selfishly insist on your individual ways, it would be difficult to resolve the differences. Even if you are very sure that a particular problem did not originate from you, there is need to honestly ask what you can do to help improve the situation. A partner will often criticize: "It's his/her fault, so let him/her resolve it”. Even if that is true, does it help matters? Instead, think of what you can do to solve the problem?" Rather than say "Why don't you do this?" it is better to say " ...to be continued
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